Horsenalitytm */Personality – just what is that and why does it matter?
A very important Horse Whispering relationship building concept is the importance of understanding each other’s personality so we can learn to lovingly communicate without pressure or stress. After taking the personality test, I learned that my high energy clashed with my horse’s need to be a laid back, low energy type. As a result, I had to learn how to adapt my personality to his in order to not drive him crazy! (i.e. lower my energy/expectations) Lo and behold, when I started lowering my energy, he became less stressed and eventually more willing to increase his energy level for our partnership. Wow!!
The horse whisperer taught that it was up to me to learn all I could about his psychology so I could give him what he wants (respect) instead of what I thought he needed (control). I had to truly be willing to change me to build a strong partnership/relationship with my horse/addict, instead of trying to be his life controller.
One of the easiest tools to start this journey of discovery was to take a personality test and learn about our personality types. It was fun to see how very differently we each viewed the world. Once I learned about our personality types, it was easy to see why we were having such a hard time getting along – we were VERY different!! Duh!
Although this seemed obvious, somehow, in my head, I thought if I persisted strong enough and long enough, I would eventually convince him to see things MY way! Unfortunately, he was thinking the same thing! No wonder we only went around in the same old unhappy circles.
My ineffective forcing and nagging was definitely making me very unhappy… and him too. It was a shock to realize that all this time I had actually been contributing to the demise of the relationship I thought I was desperately working to save! What an eye opener!
Al-Anon and Horse whispering taught me that I had to start giving what I wanted to get. It was up to me to change my part, whether he changed or not. I learned that the best way to build a partnership was to stop pouring all my energy into forcing solutions and focus on taking care of myself instead.
By taking off all of the negative pressure to change the horse and focusing all the positive energy toward changing myself – I could work on becoming fun and interesting to be with. This is what horses LOVE! Instead of running away from me, he started to meet me at the gate. I was interesting to be with! Priceless! As we say in 12 step programs…It Works, if you Work it!
Here is a link to a Short, Fun Personality Test
There are 16 personality types. Here is a link to the descriptions of The 16 Personality Types P.S. I am an ENFP-T (no surprise there)
Links to more info can be found under the “Even More Info” Resources page or click the link to the free eBooklet:
Free eBooklet: Alcoholic Whispering 101 – Bronco Taming Skills for Families
Although Betty is retired, feel free to send her an email at b.pennington@yahoo.com if you would like to visit (no charge).
* The Fine Print: This program is not affiliated with any treatment facility and is not to be considered counseling or therapy. Working with horses or alcoholic/addicts is potentially dangerous. Always use your own judgment and/or get the advice of professionals to find the right strategies for your life and your particular situation.
*Horsenality is trademark of Parelli Natural Horsemanship. Cut-to-the-Chase Coaching is not affiliated with Parelli or 16 Personalities or any other programs.